Rule 5c: If you're still reading, you're doing it wrong

Congratulations! You've made it to the most exclusive club on the internet: the one where you're wasting your life away reading pointless rules and regulations. You should be ashamed.

But don't worry, we're not here to judge. We're here to serve you a healthy dose of sarcasm and disappointment, served with a side of overused web design principles.

According to our highly scientific and totally-not-made-up studies, 99.9% of people who visit this page will click the back button and never look back. The remaining 0.1% are either masochists or have a severe case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out on Good Taste).